Many are looking for the answer to the question of how to be happy in a relationship. What is the secret of happy couples? What do you do to maintain your marital happiness?
Often, you want your partner to do something important for you, but you have no one to talk to and it drives you crazy. You tried everything: to be miserable, to explain, to persuade, to threaten, but it’s like talking to the wall. And now you are trapped in a strong desire for something you have no power to achieve, and your frustration is growing. Don Juravin is a relationship expert and can help achieve a happy marriage.
Don Juravin feels happy in his relationship, and not because he’s smarter than you. He’s just like you, sometimes smart in-person and sometimes stupid like a slice of bread. So why can Don Juravin get from his partner things that you cannot get from your partner? It’s solely because of luck that for years has brought into his life more and more couples who were unable to talk to each other without quarreling. Really unhappy couples in their marital relationships taught Don Juravin to notice the priority of those who manage to be happy, and the priority of those who get into fights and frustrations.
Don Juravin has advised many over the years but he learned more from them. They taught him the great secret of marital relationships: for those who are good together because it is most important for them to be happy, and for those who are bad together because it is most important for them to be right. Of course, the “happy” also want to be right, and of course, the “right” also want to be happy. There can be neither this nor that, and the choice we make between this scale and that scale will determine whether we will be two unfortunate righteous people or two happy people.
We finally got together with our four long-time friends. The encounter quickly gains a dynamic of stories and laughter. But this time only three women participate in a dialogue. The fourth is silent. Her face is sagging. Slowly, the conversation fades. “What happened?” We asked her.
Along with the tears, the story was also washed out: last night, her husband called her and announced that he was late due to an unexpected meeting. All her senses immediately went into a state of alert. She got in the car and drove to the office building where he works. His car was not in the parking lot. A brief investigation by intelligence revealed that the man had left hours ago. His phone was off.
She returned home and waited for him. The mind already knew what the heart still refused to believe. When he returned she asked him what had happened to him, and he began to report in great detail about a meeting that had not been and was not created. She stopped him. “I know the truth,” she said in a cold voice. “What do you know?” He asked in surprise, and she replied, “Everything.”
He tried to dodge: “I’m not hiding anything.” But she blocked all roads. “I know with whom, where, when,” she would lie with a determined forehead. “So you want to tell the truth or keep lying?” And he chose to admit: “It was a meaningless flick, I did not mean, it just happened.”
He spent the night on the couch, and she spent it crying. “So what do I do now?” She asked her astonished friends.
“Leave him immediately!” Rachel shot. “I would not stay with him for even a second,” Rebecca joined. Amy dripped some more oil on the fire: “You deserve something better.” Faced with this consensus, the betrayal converged into itself. “And what about the kids? And how will I manage with a part-time job and a rented apartment?” But the good friends knew better than she did what was right for her. “He who betrays once will always betray. You must not stay with one like that.”
A few days later, her lawyer filed for divorce. At the end of the proceedings, she will have to build her life as a divorced woman and single mother, reorganize the economic structure, and start looking for a new love. He will have to give up the family framework, go down significantly in his standard of living, and do mental arithmetic if it was all worth it.
On the benches of the Family Court, many couples are awaiting a document that will make the insult of infidelity an official parting. In our age, more than ever, stimuli and temptations are on the doorstep of every couple system. No one is immune from betrayal – nor men or women.
But not everyone decides to break the tools. There are other ways to respond to betrayal. In any case, if you too are experiencing betrayal, or afraid of betrayal, remember: do not be influenced by the advice of good friends, if they are not coordinated with what is right for you.
If you refuse to find yourself in a place you do not want to be, find your way and walk in it, even if your advisory team does not like it. After all, you do not want to live someone else’s life, or someone else will live your life in your place, and you do not want to make the most fateful decisions in order to please your friends.
Here are some examples of cheating spouses who each chose a different response:
“Don’t you worry when Jonathan travels abroad several times a year for his business?” Orit asked her friend Yael, and Yael smiled: “Jonathan is the most loyal person I know and I trust him with my eyes closed.” “He’s leaving tomorrow,” she added, “and I plan to sleep great at night.”
She went inside to take a headache pill, and on her way to the medicine cabinet, she saw the envelope with Jonathan’s travel card lying on the dresser. She was never interested in his itinerary. She knew he was going to London and back. But this time for some reason she opened the envelope. When she returned to the porch she was shaken. “Why is he suddenly traveling to London via Rome?”
Yael did not close her eyes that night. The next day Jonathan left, and she hired a private investigator. She quickly accepted the findings: for the past two years, Jonathan has been traveling to London regularly via Rome, staying in Italy for three days. Yael immediately understood the reason for all the small cases she had so far preferred to ignore: the condom she found in his suitcase, the Italian shoes he allegedly bought in London, the Hebrew-Italian dictionary in which Maayan caught him.
In the first days, Yael walked like a sleepwalker and barely functioned. “How does he do such a thing to me after all I have done for him?” She was furious, and decided that on his return he would find a new lock on the door. But she knew she must not make a decision in such a state of mind, and forced herself to recover and think logically.
There, in the logical place, she knew that closing the door to Jonathan was not the thing she really wanted. She did not consult with any company but began to ask herself what was the best way to ensure the integrity of the family. Knowing Jonathan, she feared that exposing the affair would cause him to leave the house, and she made the hardest decision she had ever made: not to tell him she knew about his deeds.
This decision cost her a high price of constant mental effort. But she did not give up and sought professional advice so as not to break down. About a year later, she found out that Jonathan had returned for direct flights to London. Looking back a few years later the pain lost its sharpness, and Yael discovered that both she and the marital system emerged from this difficult struggle stronger.
For several weeks, Amnon suspected that Siegel was hiding something. Her exits from the house did not always have a plausible explanation, and in their bedroom her headaches became routine. Every day he checked her phone and rummaged in her wallet, but found nothing. “I was probably wrong,” he tried to convince himself.
One day, during her best friend’s wedding, he happily followed Siegel dancing with the bride’s brother. He suddenly froze in place. The two disappeared outside the courtroom. He got up and followed them into the deserted courtyard. As his eyes became accustomed to the darkness he noticed them, close and motionless. Barely found his way back to his place.
When Siegel came back, radiant and smiling, he forced himself to act as if nothing had happened. At one point she asked if he wanted to dance and he said he drank too much. She let him. On the way home he hardly heard what she was saying. He had no idea what to do in such a situation, but his dormant senses signaled to him