LOVING GOD WITHOUT RELIGION

Remember that it is not only those who do not make mistakes, and those who make mistakes are those who do. So give yourself permission to fail, because only then do you also give yourself permission to succeed.

Do you think that failure is the enemy of success? It’s not, failure is actually a friend of success. And no matter what field you want to succeed in: work, relationships, business, failure is an integral part of success.

There is no success without failures embedded in it as well. Without failures there is no success, just as without success there are no failures. But even if the two always go together, it goes without saying that the goal is success, while failures are the friends for the journey.

Success is not an event that happens suddenly. Success is always a gradual process that evolves, with lots of flags and signs on the way, letting us know if we are on the right path or not. And failures are precisely the flags and signs that warn of the wrong way.

Your Secret Power In A Pre-Marriage Relationship

Successful people see the success process as steps in a path that is sometimes paved and sometimes disrupted and scarred, but when the path is easy and also when there are bumps and obstacles, it is always the same path to success.

Think you want to be a lawyer. You have successfully completed your studies but you fail the bar exams. You take the exam a second time and fail again. Only the fifth time you pass the exam successfully. Then you look for a long time job, until you finally open an independent office and start a very successful career. Now look at the whole picture: did you fail or succeed?

Or another example: you get in your car and get on the road. You feel full control of the car and you fit into the traffic. But you may have failed the driving test ten times before you got your license. So in the whole picture did you fail or succeed?

Failure In Your Premarital Relationship Is A Blessing In Disguise

Failure takes on an entirely different meaning when we see it as part of a process that has not yet ended. Everyone is wrong and everyone is failing. Once me and once you. Every success begins with failures. This is how you learned to walk, with falls again and again, until you knew how to stand on your feet, and this is how you learned everything that you know very well today.

So what exactly is failure? Failure is neither a final event nor a recurring event. A failure is just an event that happened differently than we expected. That is, failure is just an unfulfilled expectation, which reminds us of our limits of power, and the fact that we are not omnipotent because what we want does not always match what reality wants.

No one is harmed by several blows so that we do not raise our noses. And you are all probably familiar with the ridiculous statements “I am never wrong”, “I am always right”, “I always know what is right to do”, “My intuitions never mislead me”. How wrong these people are! And you know who the teachers and instructors who taught them everything they know? These are successful people who have made mistakes very many times.

Remember that it is not only those who do not make mistakes, and those who make mistakes are those who do. So give yourself permission to fail, because only then do you also give yourself permission to succeed.

WHY A SINGLE WOMAN SHOULD THINK LIKE A WORLD LEADER?

There are basic principles that make a person a leader. The same principles that make you look up to certain people may be used by you to create a healthy and successful relationship. Keep reading and find out how. 

Self-Respect And Respect For Others 

A leader is a person who respects himself. This is manifested first of all in the way he speaks – you will not hear him get down on himself and then explain that it is just a joke, or treat others with disrespect. 

In a relationship, not only do we often tend to mow ourselves, whether in our hearts or out loud, but we also allow ourselves to express ourselves in a way that is disrespectful to our spouse. Alternatively we erase ourselves in his face, while towards other people in our lives we behave disrespectfully “because they deserve it” – then marvel when it comes back to us like a boomerang from our spouse or another close person. 

Rapid Recovery 

What sets the leader apart from most of us is the ability to recover quickly. If you examine this you will see that even valued leaders make mistakes, embarrass themselves and fail. But instead of wallowing in self-flagellation and self-pity, they recover, get up, and move on. Those who are prone to self-pity will have a hard time recovering after an unsuccessful relationship, quarrel or crisis. 

They will not stop blaming themselves, crying over the damage to self-image caused by the rejection and lamenting that there is no point in acting again, because what will be is what was. Many go on for years dreaming of a relationship ending, imagining “what if” and expecting a moment of reunion or sweet revenge. Instead of looking ahead and working to create a satisfying and healthy relationship they remain stuck in the past, full of pain and complaint. 

Selecting Partners

A successful leader must choose suitable partners for the journey. Thus, when the leader meets new people he examines them, not out of judgment or fear, but with clear eyes, to really understand if there is a partner here. In a relationship, many times, we are so afraid of losing what has been achieved that we close our eyes even when clear facts are before us. For example: your spouse behaves insultingly and disparagingly towards his ex, and you tell yourself that it will be different with you. Or: Your partner is self-centered, blind to your needs, and you tell yourself it’s only a matter of time before she changes. 

Know The “Opponent”

The leader must study those who stand in front of him, identify their strengths and weaknesses, know their way of thinking and their customs in order to understand what is the right way to act against them. We, on the other hand, in life in general and in pre-marriage relationships in particular, are too preoccupied with how we look in the eyes of the others, what his behavior says about us, expecting him to understand us, to behave as we would and to complain that he does not.

Determination Of A Leader

Decisiveness is not just assertiveness or the ability to convince someone else of what you are saying. Decisiveness means first of all the ability to make a decision – the decision to be or not to be here. The leader cannot afford to sit and complain about the situation and his choices, he must find a way to change what is given, or accept what is not. In a premarital relationship, however, we stay and complain, keep complaining and do not change anything, discuss our problems with a third party instead of with the spouse and refute, sometimes for years, to make a decision. As we are constantly trying to change our spouses we become miserable and bitter, forgetting why we ever chose them.

Lead Your Premarital Relationship

A leader is measured in moments of crisis. The leader often encounters challenging events, disagreements and crises. He can not afford to whine about it, blame the whole world or shout out about it. He must find within him an island of peace and stability and act from there, even if he does not like the circumstances. 

The drama we allow ourselves to create in moments of personal and marital crisis would probably provoke strong criticism from us as bystanders. The inability to control our reactions, our emotions and the tone of our voice – is the truth we are incapable of? Or do we just allow ourselves to behave that way? Surrender to the momentary satisfaction of taking off steam and feeling right when we blame someone else for our situation? Listen to the inner voice. 

A wise leader knows how to listen to others, consider different points of view of his own and get wise advice. But he must also trust himself, for if he had a guru whom he would quote as a parrot, he would not have been a worthy leader himself. In relationships, especially in the beginning, we run to the whole world to hear advice, analyze and plan different courses of action, but we are never willing to listen to our inner voice screaming at us desperately, trying to hint to us what is right for us and what is not. 

Act First

A leader by nature is one who acts and motivates others to action, not one who waits for others to act first. One of the stumbling blocks of the relationship is the petty reckoning “but that he will do first”, “why should I go towards him, he did not go towards me” or “he does not deserve”. When we insist on running such a ledger, the profit is that we feel right. 

And The Price? 

That the war continues. If there is only one guideline you can adopt it will be this: You were the person you would expect your spouse to be. Not only will it make you feel better about yourself, but it will have a similar appeal.

Have you argued, fought, hurt, misspoken, apologized (and not apologized) enough as to minimize the chance of unpleasant surprise? Have you seen each other angry? Can you manage the “bad” in your partner?

Can you predict more than 80% of unpleasant situations?

Holy Land Man, using the sacred code2GOD of the original Bible prepared the word’s most challenging premarital test.

Do not enter into a binding relationship before you know the truth: your amazing partner also has a completely unbelievable side, and sometimes he will tell you very hurtful things. Just like you, because you too have an amazing side that at first he was not exposed to, but over time he will feel very good about it. So of course you both know how to love and pamper, but do not enter into a relationship until it is clear to you that you both also know how to be angry and hurt, revenge and reckon.

Are We Ready To Get Married?

You will know what awaits you in a pre-marriage relationship: sometimes you will give each other a wonderful feeling, but sometimes you will give each other such a bad feeling that you will want to get up and go. Only if you understand this are you prepared and ready for a mutual commitment that can withstand all the marital crises.

So no matter how wonderful your partner is, and no matter how wonderful you are, each of you brings into a relationship both the positive part and the negative part. And thus the two of you are exactly the same. And you can not have a relationship only with the wonder that you both have because you will have to experience sometimes also on the repulsive side of each of you, just as you can not just enjoy the fragrance of spring without sometimes getting wet in the rain.

Each of us is half good and half bad. It is as clear as it is clear that each of us is both left and right, both up and down, both in front and behind.

But despite the rich experience we have gained in our lives, each of us still continues to expect the other to be just patient, only forgiving, only attentive and only accepting, and we are disappointed again when the other loses patience, angry, opaque and resisting, as if it is not part of the deal we made with him. And it is not clear how we manage to ignore the fact that his life with us is also not only roses but also thorns.

What To Expect In The Premarital Relationship

But that’s it, now it’s official: when you enter a Premarital relationship you bring into your life a whole system of contrasts that you offer to each other. Therefore you should expect that in your common path you will meet heaven but also hell, pleasure but also pain, softness but also toughness, strength but also weakness, openness but also opacity, calmness but also tension, consent but also resistance, domination but also submission.

It will hurt you much less when you come into a relationship when you are willing to accept the fact that you are both human beings of flesh and blood, and that you are both made of black and white and between them all the colors of the rainbow. And when you are ready for it, there is no room for surprises. So do not say you were not warned and do not say you did not know.

Premarital Choices

A couple’s journey must begin with a choice between the two forces within you: one will lead you to heights and the other will lead you to the abysses. And if you come into a relationship ready for an encounter with these two forces, you will have no reason to spend the years of your life together in anger every time one of you exposes the darkness in it.

Then you will be free to invest all your resources in working together to give each other more and more reasons to express your wonder.